This Issue features pieces on Retirement, Financial Wisdom, and IRAs.
THE BIG GREEN BIKE
The Queen (for those of you that don’t know who I’m taking about… is my wife, Sue) said I needed a bike to ride so I could exercise my knee, the one I had surgery on last year (I thought getting up and down to refill my iced tea was plenty of exercise, but I guess I was wrong). I thought she was talking about the other bike, the Honda Gold Wing! She said every Joker needed something bright and shiny and every Queen needed entertainment! What, she’s not going to get one for herself and ride with me?
So, off I went in search of a bike. Since Amazon and I are tight and they visit my house often, I started there. Much to my amazement, I found just what I had in mind. It was a really big fat tire bike in a wild bright neon green color. I figured that way everyone could easily see me and not run me down. So I hit the purchase button and stood by the front door. You know how fast their service is!
Well, it came in a huge box! I couldn’t wait to tear off the cardboard and hit the road. Much to my surprise, it came unassembled! WHAT?? I think I’m pretty handy, and I know Sue is very handy. But this project may have been too much. Since I don’t want to divorce her and I don’t think she wants to divorce me, we kept plugging along. Once I realized she had disappeared, I got concerned. I saw her on the phone, but wasn’t sure I really wanted to know who she was calling!
Thankfully, it was only the local bike shop. She came out and directed me to put the #@&*# bike in the car and immediately take it to the bike place or else! So, I put the bike in the car, got my keys and asked if she would like to come along. I bribed her with a treat of going out to dinner. That works every time!
The bike guys were very nice and extremely knowledgeable. They had the bike back together in no time and I was able to pick it up within a day. I rode around the neighborhood to get the feel of it and thought I was doing quite well. Sue said that “5 minutes was not really enough to exercise the knee”, but I said “why push it?” I put the big green bike back in the garage to rest and I went in for a beer. I had things to do and work to get ready before my next out of town job. It would be a little over two weeks before I was to ride again.
Well, I’ve now told everyone I know that I’m exercising to strengthen my knee. I get a lot of “way to go”, “that a boy”, “keep up the good work”, “don’t push it too hard”, “be careful” and “look out!!” Why just today, my neighbor, Barb, knocked on my door and asked if I’d join her for a bike ride. I eagerly jumped on my big green bike and took off with her. Soon her husband, Scott, joined us, as well as a couple of other neighbors. We were biking fools, at least that’s what the Queen said (note that she does not have a bike, which is probably a good thing considering her balance).
We rode hard and fast for at least 10 minutes. Then it was time to rest, so we coasted into one of the neighbor’s drives and stood by our bikes to chat. Scott went to get a beer since he had worked up a sweat and the rest of us needed a moment of rest. Now here’s the really funny part. While standing by the bike, the tire exploded!! I mean really exploded! It sounded like an M-80! Scott dropped his beer, Jack flew out of his garage, Barb nearly fell off her bike and Sue was on the ground laughing. Need I say more?! All I can say is thank goodness I was not riding the big green bike at the time of the explosion! I may have had other serious insults to deal with other then my wife’s hysterical laughter.
Once we all regained some composure and the laughter died down, I put the bike in the car and took it back to the bike repair place. I’m hoping they can fix the problem or I will have a bigger problem getting the dang big green bike boxed and sent back to Amazon. I think I’ve learned my lesson this time. Buy large items locally so if it’s not working it can be easily returned.
So now I wait and once it comes back, I’ll try it again. I told the Queen that exercise might kill me, but she assures me I’m well insured!
Thanks for reading. Talk with you next month.
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